Have you ever felt like you’re too busy to keep up? Have you ever gone through a season of life where you missed out on valuable time with your family or friends? We all go through times where business is necessary, and we must fulfill our obligations. There are also times when a hectic, busy life isn’t serving us. Hustle culture is not only prevalent, but also praised in today’s society. But the secret to peace is a slowed down life.
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I am no stranger to hustle culture and overall business. For portions of my life, I have been obsessed with personal achievements and the idea of accomplishing. I always wanted success for myself, but what I didn’t realize is that success looks different for everyone. I have found myself burned out at times.
In college, I made sure to attend every class and strive for excellent grades. I wanted to be on the student board and in the theater fraternity, and I was dancing in my school’s dance company. Yes, my grades looked good and so did my resume. But why was I feeling so unfulfilled? I couldn’t seem to pinpoint it until one day I realized I was trying to be a superhero.
But it didn’t end there- after graduation I hustled for years to make it in the dance and theater industry. I traveled long distances alone for gigs and was rarely home. Once the pandemic hit, I decided to go back to school full-time for nursing and work full-time. I was also planning a wedding. I hit a point where I just became… angry. But angry in a good way, because I was mad that again, I allowed myself to become swept away with an idealized version of success.
“When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.”
-Avatar Aang
Nobody seemed to understand why I would choose to withdraw from nursing school in favor of staying at home focusing on my new married life, and each given day. Was I turning into an idler? What about all the opportunities I as missing out on? Was I making enough, doing enough, being enough?
I am much happier with my slowed down life; yes, I have my blog and am teaching dance, performing, and learning to facilitate art therapy. But it’s not out of hustle or striving for success. It’s for me. My life is full of writing, dance, art, the home, and my husband.
Maybe you can relate in some way. Maybe you were encouraged to pursue a certain kind of success that only looks like one thing, but it just doesn’t feel right. You’re not alone. Maybe you accomplish a goal you’ve set for yourself, but you don’t take time to appreciate this milestone. Instead, you give in to the people who ask, “What’s next” or “So when are you going to do x, y, and z?” You focus on the next instead of the now.
There’s honor in living simply. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a peaceful and prosperous life centered around each given day. You won’t fall behind if you’re coming from a place of staying attuned to yourself. In fact, you may even find yourself coming out ahead because you won’t fall prey to consumerist culture or keeping up with everyone’s expectations. But this isn’t a comparison game, or a competition, or rivalry. Simple living is the exact opposite of that.
Our basic human instincts are to want more and want the next thing. It’s even worse with social media and being more connected than ever. We may feel judged by success based on achievements and belongings. The need to buy a bigger house, or upgrade your car, or wear designer clothes might come from comparison and FOMO.
What would simple living look like to you? Maybe you are afraid of missing out on the necessities in life. But what really are necessities? In the modern world, that looks like three TVs in every house, two cars, a new phone with a payment plan, dining out, buying new clothes instead of mending, going out every weekend, and throwing things away instead of reusing.
But it wasn’t always like this. Things are getting faster, and expectations are higher. Think about the way your grandparents lived, or even your great grandparents. Yes, the cost of living was exceptionally lower. But our grandparents also didn’t need to have a closet full of clothes for every occasion or a vast makeup collection or streaming services. They didn’t require a car loan to get the best features or go to bars every weekend. Our busyness comes with choice, and more than most of us realize.
Standards of living are high and can feel crippling. But who are you living for?
I used to dream of living in a big city surrounded by people and opportunities. I imagined myself living in a high-rise apartment with just my dog Asher, putting myself out there day after day. I had this idealized version of success without realizing that success comes in many different forms.
My life is different than that. I drive an old Honda Accord with over 200,000 miles on her. But she gets me from point A to point B and doesn’t let me down. I live in a small space so I can’t obtain too many things. But it means a cleaner home and less clutter, and I can better take care of what I have. I meal prep or cook for the vast majority of our meals in favor of restaurants, but it means we stay healthy because we know exactly what’s in our food. I mend our belongings instead of replacing them right away, but it means less waste in the environment.
There are so many ways to slow down and starting small is best. Every small change made will have a ripple effect on other aspects of your day. An example of this is slowing down when heading out the door instead of grabbing your keys and rushing out. Another example is choosing to say no to a costly event, so you don’t have to work overtime. There are small ways you can slow down to relax your nervous system.
I know when I make these small changes, I go from frazzled to free. I’m so much more pleasant to be around, and I’m a better listener. Slowing down gets me out of my head, and into my body.
Learning to find joy in the everyday things that would otherwise be rushed through or forgone altogether is the first step. Focusing on your breath will take you out of your head and into your body. Taking more time to sleep and eat a healthy meal will make you feel refreshed. Getting into nature will also quiet your mind. All you need is right in front of you.