Advice for Artists from Unsupportive Backgrounds

My goal with this blog is to motivate and inspire people to discover what their dreams are and pursue them. I give people the strategies and resources they need in order to do so in a tangible way. Sometimes I need to make those difficult-to-write posts, but that’s okay because these things need to be discussed in order for us to become successful.

I’m sharing how to become successful with an unsupportive background.

Many artists come from backgrounds where they are encouraged to pursue their talents and interests. I believe that if someone wants to give their artistic talents a try, encouragement is a gift. Of course, there’s the opposite end of this extreme of parents trying to live through their children a la Dance Moms, but we’re not talking about that today 😀

Many aspiring artists will be actively discouraged from pursuing their interests. Some will never get the respect they deserve for their accomplishments, no matter how successful they are.

Discouragement can lead to someone quitting, or not trying in the first place out of fear. With all of that said, how do you navigate pursuing your goals when you have an unsupportive background?

──────────────────

1. Take inventory of how you feel after interactions. Set boundaries with those who tear you down.

There is a difference between discouragement and thoughtfulness. I’ll give you a made-up example since I don’t want to make this too personal.

Let’s say I’m speaking to someone who says, “Charis, I think you should make a TikTok and post your content to get your work out there since social media is evolving.” I consider that encouragement because it means that person values my work and wants to see me succeed. They may see something that I don’t, such as the evolution of advertisement.

What if instead, that same person said, “Make sure you have a backup plan in case this whole dance thing doesn’t work out.” That is discouraging and outright nosy. Any rationally intelligent person will have thought about that statement already before pursuing dance. We know the risks. So if someone were to say that to me, it would make me feel like they don’t trust that I’m the expert of my own life.

Take inventory of how you feel after interactions with people. If you find yourself feeling discouraged or patronized, learn to set boundaries.

2. Monitor how you speak to yourself. Act like your own supportive friend.

Watch how you speak to yourself and make sure the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself come from within. Not from the people who tell you that you can’t. When you speak to yourself, make sure that voice is your own, and you aren’t repeating the negative things you’ve been told about yourself. A great way to change the way you look at yourself is to talk to yourself the same way you would speak to a friend.

If you don’t make the audition for the role you’ve been dreaming of, what would you want your best friend to say? Would you want to hear, “I knew this wasn’t the right fit. Time for hairdressing school.” Of course not! You would want her to say, “Learn from your mistakes this time and use them to fuel your next audition because you’ll get better every time.”

If you have an unsupportive background, I’ll bet you’ve spent your whole life beating yourself up. Perhaps you’ve started believing the words people have said to you. You don’t need to do that anymore.

3. Realize people’s negativity comes from a lack mindset.

I have written extensively about having a lack mindset versus an abundance mindset on my blog, and my previous blog post focused on this topic.

If someone told you that you will fail at pursuing your passion and that you will run out of resources, it’s because THEY would fail at it and run out of resources.

Many people do what they’re told their entire lives to create a false sense of security. So when someone like you changes the paradigm, they react in fear. When they try to “warn” you about your imminent failure, they are projecting their insecurities onto you.

Unsubscribe from a lack mindset in every area of your life. Furthermore, do not discuss your goals and dreams with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. Having an abundance mindset is crucial especially if you’re pursuing something that society deems “different.”

4. Become confident in your ability.

I used to care for elderly people in the hospital and have talked to a lot of people at the end stage of their lives. A common thing that I would hear them say was something along the lines of, “I wish I would have tried becoming a writer instead of an accountant.” They’re depressed at the end of their lives because they never even tried in the first place.

If there’s something you’ve been wanting to pursue but have come up with reasons why you can’t, do it anyway. People rarely regret trying something even if it fails. What they do regret is never trying at all. The only reason you’re not pursuing what you want in the first place is because you’re afraid of what other people think.

Walk around dripping with confidence. You’re someone who thinks out of the box and knows there are alternative ways to be responsible. There are a plethora of ways to secure your future while working in an untraditional field. You know what you’re doing, and I believe you’re going to make the right moves.

5. Find your circle.

Now that you’ve started speaking kindly to yourself instead of putting yourself down, it’s time to find people who do the same.

For those who have had an unsupportive background, I believe finding a support system through friendships presents unique challenges. If you’re used to being talked down to and have been made to feel like your contributions to the world aren’t valid, you may have a sense of mistrust and defensiveness around people.

Each of these 5 steps are cumulative. You’ve set boundaries with those who pry and condescend. Then, you’ve identified their lack mindsets they’ve projected onto you. Lastly, you’ve created self-worth within yourself through confidence and supporting yourself like your own friend.

We are not meant to be lone wolves. It will take time to find your circle, especially if you are starting from scratch. However, coming from an unsupportive background doubly means you need healthy connections even more. So cast a wide net, be patient with yourself, and find your people.